i get confused when i don't know exactly how i'm suppose to handle things. i can guarantee that crying or whining evertime i get my feelings hurts isn't the way. it's stupid when you feel like you can truly depend on some one then turn around then you can't. it's confusing when the people you rely on walk out without so much as a look back. it's heart breaking when you expect the best from people and get the worst. i don't know what to anymore. i continue to let people walk over me, i give out 100,000,000 chances and expect people to change. i complain to much, act stupid, get mad too quickly and cry everytime i don't get my way. i want somebody to talk about things with and them to understand. i'm sick of getting hollered at when i don't do everything perfect. i'm sick of my emotions surfacing at all the wrong times and i'm sick of never being good enough. i'm tired of moping around the house because all i do is babysit children. i'm sick of not being able to live the normal life of a teenager. i feel like a spoiled brat but it's the way i've been raised. i don't understand how people can be so mean and ruthless. i don't understand why people can just leave you when you need them. i don't understand teenagers at all, including myself. i don't understand how everything i want or need is so unreachable. i wish i didn't care about people as much as i do and i wish i didn't let things upset me so much. But this is me, all in all, i'm not going to change. i'm going to always be the sweet little girl who tries to make everyone happy, sacrificing my own happiness. i don't have anything inspring to say or anything that's going to brighten your day. i just needed to vent. & that's exactly what i did.
[[as for Richard, he was great until he dumped me for his ex, i took him back, it happened again. he's a great guy that i kept falling for, Thank God i'm finally over it. i "loved" him but now i'm not so sure that i did. i don't know. i guess i can add that to the long list of mistakes i have made this year.]]
